Aging disabled mother refuses the care of anyone but me

Tl;dr at bottom

Hi, all. I found this community recently and felt like this is the right place to look for some advice and support. I (30M) have been assisting my mother (64F) with her declining health for years. I am her only child and she split from my dad when I was 10. When I was 12 her health began to decline and has gradually done so for the past 18 years. She’s required a walker to move around for about the past decade, and uses mobility scooters when out.

Early last month, she caught a UTI and spent weeks in and out of delirium. She’d tell me things she dreamt of like they really happened, and I couldn’t get straight answers on anything except one: she refused to go to the hospital. She vehemently said she would not go and was fine on her own. Albeit by “on her own” she meant with me coming by every day to check on her and take care of chores.

In the last week of July she ended up falling. She doesn’t have a life alert and couldn’t reach her phone, so she spent an entire night on the floor. I found her the next day and called for an ambulance against her wishes. She spent almost a week in the hospital. Fortunately she didn’t break anything and her UTI was taken care of with drip antibiotics.

She’s been home for about a week and a half now, and I’ve been coming by every day for a few hours to check on her. I’m not currently employed but I’m getting ready to start an online graduate program soon. I was hoping she’d be set to be more independent by the time I start, but she has been requiring more and more attention. She called me and woke me up early this morning because she didn’t feel safe to walk to the toilet without me on the phone. She managed to do it and I came by a few hours later to bring her food and water because she didn’t feel safe walking out to her kitchen. She sent me home but asked me to come by later today to bring her dinner.

I’ve been in touch with her sister/my aunt (F63) who helped take care of their mother who dealt with dementia at the end of her life. My aunt is very keen on the idea of my mom going into assisted living. She thinks my mom would benefit from the professional care and I would then be free to focus on my graduate studies and my own life. I doubt my mother will accept that idea though. She insists that she can be independent with minimal help from me but she always asks for my help and refuses care from anybody else.

Is there any advice on how I can get my mom to go into assisted living? My life has been on hold for three years because I’ve been taking care of her. I’ve barely traveled, I can’t look for a life partner, and I can’t focus on anything for myself because I know most days she’s going to ask me to come help her. Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you very much.

Tl;dr My disabled mother refuses to accept help from anyone but me. My personal life has been on hiatus because I always need to be around for her. I want to suggest she goes into assisted living because it would give her the real care she needs and let me be free to live my own life. Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you.