self catheter seems scary. anyone on it?

after 18 days on home catheter (flip flo). i failed my trial of void (TOV) yet again for the 5th time. they were gonna put me on self catheter, but i couldnt seem to do it. i think i’m just scared of the idea of putting smth in my urethra. also the nurse who was teaching me was also impatient and rushed and wont let me take my time to try. so i panicked and it just hurts every time i try.

but i know self cath is better for the long run for recovery. has anyone ever been on it? any success stories? any tips to fight that fear?

also any urinary retention success stories are welcome, because i feel so beaten down that i keep failing my TOV