Toxic prnts

Hi, Dear Diary. I’m 16 years old, turning 17 soon, and currently studying in the 12th grade. I have always preferred writing stories over reading books and have written a few incomplete stories, which I always enjoyed doing. My father wants me to become a CA, a goal I also committed to two years ago, but enduring all this torture makes it incredibly difficult—not because of the studying itself, but because of the abuse. I have been repeatedly abused and beaten by my own parents. Today, I stayed home from school to study—a decision influenced by the fact that I haven't been attending school for several days since I am the only female in my class alongside just four classmates—and my father took a stick and beat me like an animal, or even worse. My elbow felt fractured, and my right arm was completely paralyzed for ten minutes due to the unbearable, miserable pain. I couldn't even write, as my whole body was hurting severely from being beaten repeatedly with sticks. Even so, I managed to get up, cried immensely, and tied up my right hand using a long cloth to continue studying for four hours without saying a word to my parents, either in the morning or after the beating. Later in the evening, my mother verbally abused me—calling me derogatory names like "Randi," "Kuttiya," and "Chinariya"—and beat me simply because she wanted me to do chores. Despite this, I went ahead and made rotis for them, as making rotis every night for dinner is considered my duty. But that's not even the main question; the problem is that there are days when everything seems perfect, leaving me confused about whether they are truly toxic or not, even though my dad calls me a pig and once referred to me as "ganda khoon." I am sharing this because I have no one else to confide in and wanted to get an outside opinion.