How competitive exam killed my emotions .

Before starting preparation I used to be happy and always full of joy trying to figure out positivity in every aspect of life but when I started preparing for a competitive exam and there was a sudden shift of academic pressure in 11th (science pcm) and slowly that pressure killed my postive thinking as nothing good happened to me . One of the smartest kid in 10th started to struggle badly but he gave it all he has and nearly lost .Even today I don't enjoy my birthday or any special moment of my life because of it and maybe if I reach my goal but that emotions will not come again .