Godson Facing Homelessness- His Bad Choices

Sorry this is long. I have posted on here before and got great advice. I already know the answer and I’m not going to do this. I have finally got my life back to where it needs to be, letting those around me deal with their own problems. But I still need some encouragement.

So here’s the deal. My best friend has a 21-year-old son and I am his godmother. He always seemed a bit troubled as a child, this seemed more like growing pains. Then around 15- 16, he really seemed to come into himself and was behaving really well. But that all changed literally within days of him turning 18. He turned 18, and the very next day got arrested. Then he was abusing OTC cough medicine and I don’t know what else. At first, it was shocking. And my friend and her husband (his father) did everything to try to get him back on track. They dipped into their 401k’s to send him to treatment and pay off legal fees. And other family members even stepped up to help. I listened to my friend cry about this for months and tried my best to find her resources that could help him.

So by the time he was 19, he had gotten out of treatment, and seemed to be more together. But it was not to last. His childhood best friend, who is like family to them, got married young and had a baby. So godson began having an affair with his friend’s wife. And she left his friend to be with him. My friend has been so embarrassed by all of this and feels terrible for the young man who was left behind. So meanwhile, girlfriend left their child with her ex and has been with my godson for about two years now. She does not see her child at all!!

His parents told him it was not right, and he could not live there with her. So they have gone to live with a variety of his and her family members. But each time, it has not lasted bc of his temper. And pretty sure they have stolen valuables from people. That is how he also behaved the last bit at his parents home and another reason they could not have him there. He would get very violent, even around his younger siblings. And jewelry and money disappeared.

So as if things could not get worse. He and the girlfriend also had a baby. It was quite obvious they could not afford this child. So within a few months of having him, they ended up moving to Texas, to stay with more unsuspecting relatives. And when that did not work out, again, because of his temper, they ended up giving that baby up for adoption. Nobody was even aware that they were thinking of that. The couple who adopted him promised them, they could still see him and have some visitation. But that has not happened. They are both very bitter because of that. My friend is heartbroken, as she never even got the chance to meet her grandchild. So here we are to now, his girlfriend now has two children that she has given up. And he has the one. They are constantly moving and in between jobs. And everywhere they stay, he loses his temper, breaks things, and valuables end up disappearing.

My friend and I are very close, which explains why I was picked to be his godmother. But she also knows how hard I’ve worked over the last couple of years, to regain my life. I was letting way too many family members take advantage of my generosity. Therapy has changed my life and have stronger backbone. So I could tell how hard it was for her to ask. But she called me last Friday and said that he and his girlfriend are losing their apartment in Texas. They finally had no choice but to get their own apartment, after burning so many bridges. She tried to spin it as they had been there six months, and did great paying for it up until now. But are now basically going to be homeless. Since she and her husband have a restraining order against him, that her husband refuses to drop. So they are not an option for them to come stay. So she asked if I would take him in temporarily. Of course the answer is no!! I know everything that has happened. So of course I’m not taking that in. But I feel bad because she seems so desperate.

Her husband, his father, even texted me a warning that she was going to ask. He said to absolutely not do it. He said they were already a few months behind on their rent before this eviction. And supposedly, godson has been working a couple of jobs and gf is working. So his father said there was absolutely no reason they should not have been able to pay the $1,000 a month rent. He’s right. Of course, I told her no to taking him in. She said she understood. But did pass her some information, from the Internet, of help they can get in the town they live in. That’s all I am willing to do. But I can tell she’s heart sick. And she hasn’t called or answered in days. Is there anything else I can tell her, to help her feel better? And can I please get some positive encouragement that none of this is my problem. I know there’s nothing I can do. And with the past history, they cannot be trusted. But I do think about that young boy I once knew and feel bad that his life is such a mess. Given, it’s a voluntary mess. And I’m not making my life a mess trying to help. But it’s hard not to feel guilty about having a warm bed and food, when someone you once cared deeply for, has gotten themselves in such a bad spot. So I can only imagine how my friend must feel.