What can I do when I want something I'm just not intellectually capable of achieving

I have tried so hard to make something of myself in my field for so long. I have really tried so hard. But what comes easy to most people around me I really struggle with. And then I wonder. Why is it this way. Why was I built to want to be something I am not capable of being. Its just so absurd.

I have just always been a joke amongst my peers who I work with and studied with. Always been the stupid one. I tried so hard to prove them wrong. But they were right.

I am just a disgusting worm who wishes I was a butterfly. But worms will not ever become butterflies no matter how hard they try.