Some protein cookies that I made today and some cauliflower with some chicken.

First time posting here, so sorry if I get something wrong (also not very good at posting on reddit)

I'm a 23-year-old French guy, and I've been dating for about 9 months, mostly through dating apps. At first I wasn't really sure what I wanted. I was mostly looking for something casual, even though deep down I think I wanted something more lasting.

Over those 9 months, I've had a few dates that went surprisingly well, followed by the same thing: the girl slowly pulls away, stops replying, or tells me some version of "you're a great guy, but..." :

\-The first girl was 27. We had an intense few days of texting, went for Italian food, talked for hours about family, teaching, video games, movies, basically everything. The date eventually became physical and we spent the night together. The next day everything seemed fine, but shortly after that her replies became more and more distant until she basically disappeared.

\-The second girl was 24. We had a six-hour date. Literally six hours of talking and laughing. We had a lot in common and she told me some very personal things. We even planned another date. A few days later she told me, "You're a really nice guy, but I'm not ready for this. I don't even know what I want."

\-The third girl was 23. We went for drinks, ended up at my place, slept together, cuddled afterwards and kept talking for a while. We even planned another date for when I came back from a trip. Two days before I returned, she stopped replying completely.

\-But the fourth girl is the one that really messed with my head. She was 28, and by that point I had completely changed what I wanted. I didn't want hookups anymore. I wanted an actual relationship. I wanted someone to come home to instead of constantly waking up alone. We went on four dates. Nothing sexual happened. We held hands, she put her head on my shoulder, we went to restaurants and watched movies. We talked for hours about relationships, children, the future, what we wanted from life, etc. Then her behaviour slowly changed. She used to text me when she woke up, when she went to work, when she went to the gym, tell me little things about her day... all those tiny things that I didn't even realize mattered to me until they disappeared. Eventually I asked her if she still wanted to continue seeing me and potentially build something together. She told me: "You're a nice guy, but I don't want someone who suffocates me by talking to me every day and constantly asking me things. I need my freedom."

That one hurt badly, I had some dark thought (only thoughts, nothing put in practice, I value life to much for this shit). I spent the following month basically giving up on dating altogether, not going to Gym anymore, and berly talk to my parants.

Fast forward to now : 

I met another girl.

We matched on a dating app and moved to Discord. She cancelled two dates, but both reasons seemed legitimate: she was sick and then her bike broke. After that, instead of disappearing, she actually came back and started talking to me a lot more.

We started playing Fortnite together. We had a six-hour call. We talked a LOT.

She's currently on vacation until Monday, so obviously I wasn't expecting constant replies.

While she's been away, though, she's been sending me pictures almost every day: landscapes, roads, her watch, things she's seeing, etc. She even sent me a picture of herself wearing a crown after we joked about her being a queen.

Yesterday we had what I thought was a more flirty conversation.

I sent her a picture of myself after working out. Nothing sexual, just me shirtless after training. She had previously told me she likes watching calisthenics content, so I asked for her "coach's opinion."

She gave me a very neutral answer.

So I eventually asked her more directly whether *she* found me attractive.

She finally understood what I was getting at and basically said she was "satisfied with the physique" with a playful tone.

She also explained that she genuinely hadn't understood some of my previous flirting because she's been travelling, driving around and visiting places.

So far, so good.

This morning I sent her something like:

"Heyy, slept well princess? 😌 Did you manage to see the eclipse yesterday?"

She replied normally and told me they hadn't been able to see all of it because of clouds.

I then asked what her plans were for the day.

Nothing.

Seven hours passed.

While I was doing my driving lesson, I sent her a picture of the car and joked:

"Just had two hours of driving. Jealous of my racing car? 😂"

My "racing car" is a Dacia Sandero, so obviously I was joking.

And now... nothing. She hasn't replied for the rest of the day. Normally this wouldn't bother me that much. She's on vacation. People get busy. But here's where my brain starts going completely insane. During these last few days, even when she was busy, she would usually come back later. Sometimes after several hours, but she'd come back. She'd send a picture, tell me something about her day, or continue the conversation. Today she didn't. And because of everything that happened before, my brain immediately goes:

"Here we go again." I start wondering whether the flirting yesterday made her lose interest. Whether I was too direct ? Whether I somehow fucked it up ?  Whether I've been doing something wrong this entire time ?

And honestly, I don't know anymore whether I'm noticing an actual pattern or just projecting my previous experiences onto every new girl. That's the part I'm struggling with. I'm not planning to send her another message. I've already sent two messages without a response, so I'm leaving it there. If she doesn't answer tomorrow, I'm not going to chase her either. If she comes back, I'll just continue normally and won't complain about the silence.

But I would genuinely like some outside perspective.

**Did I actually do something wrong here?**

Or does this sound more like a guy whose previous experiences have made him hyper-aware of changes in texting behaviour?

Because I can recognize that I have anxiety around this now. At the same time, I've also had enough experiences where "don't overthink it, she's just busy" eventually turned into "yeah, she lost interest." I don't want someone to simply tell me "bro she's on vacation, she'll definitely come back."  Maybe she will. Maybe she won't.

I'm more interested in whether there is something in *my behaviour* that I'm repeatedly doing wrong.

For context, I'm not looking for endless hookups anymore. I actually want a relationship. I consider myself  as  a pretty romantic person. I'd genuinely rather do something boring like grocery shopping with someone I love than sleep with twenty different people and still feel alone afterwards. And maybe that's part of my problem. I tend to get emotionally invested when I feel a real connection.

**So am I actually fucking this up, or am I watching an old wound play out again?**

And if you think I'm doing something wrong, please tell me. I'd genuinely rather hear something uncomfortable and useful than get empty reassurance.

Also, sorry for the long post. English isn't my first language, so thanks if you actually made it this far.

Did I fuck this up, or am I just seeing the same pattern again?