Does it ever get better? I need hope

I’ve been experiencing ROCD since the start of my relationship with my girlfriend (have experienced it other times in the past) and am feeling really hopeless. I’ve been in therapy for OCD for a month now, but my progress is very all over the place and I’m not even really sure if I have OCD.

At times it’s gotten better, but the fact that it has been there from the day after I asked her to be my girlfriend is so disheartening. I know that it can mess with your feelings, make you feel numb, and exacerbate any feelings of disconnection, but I’m starting to believe that’s how it’s always going to be. I want to feel love, warmth, and happiness, but am becoming increasingly distraught that I will never reach that point.

If you have any words of wisdom or hope, please share.