A message I can't send, to someone who cares...

"I'm not sure if I'm good for you. I think I'm deteriorating and I can't stop it. It might be best if you just forget about me. I'm sorry. Like you can keep talking to me if you want. You can make your own decisions. But I don't think you're gonna get much goodness from it any more. I don't want to hurt you. You don't deserve it. I'm going to stay sober and keep fighting for a while. But you should probably move on from me. I'm not going to get better. I'm so sorry. My sweet puppy friend. Please don't cry. Please just move on and let me go. For your own good. I'll just hurt you with my pain. I've seen it happen, and it's worse than it's ever been, and you're caught in it too now."

Maybe I'll just stop messaging her. I'll respond if she messages me. But she'll naturally slow down and stop. And move on...

She might see this, if she looks enough. Probably not...