How do I protect my mental health while living with hostile hostel mates?
I'm currently doing my Master in Mathematics and living in a girls hostel. I'm introverted and don't really fit in. They mostly enjoy gossiping about other people, marriage and topics I'm not interested in.
There are three girls in particular. Two of them are socially intelligent and one is very blunt. Two of them are also my classmates. I've tried my best to avoid them, but we still run into each other in the bathroom or kitchen. They make comments like "Look, the heroine of our hostel" "I don't like people who do this and that" (they were referring to me). I don't reply or confront them because I'm conflict avoidant and they already have a history of conflict with other girls in the hostel.
I accepted their dinner invitations four or five times because I was afraid of becoming more of a target if I kept refusing. They would often ask "Why are you so quiet?" I would reply awkwardly "The food is spicy" "The wind is cold"
One day I let my guard down because they kept asking personal questions and saying "You never say anything. It seems like you're hiding things from us." So I told them about my abusive father. One of them responded with sympathy while the others stayed silent.
One of them who is my classmate also makes remarks in front of other classmates. She has said things like "Are you still sleeping late and being the female ghost of our hostel?" "You're so not understanding" I usually don't respond because her tone sounds mocking. There have been other comments too but I've forgotten many of them.
Outside of this, I'm already under a lot of stress. I work part time as a tutor to support myself and I'm looking for another part time job to help support my siblings. Some of them are still living with our abusive father and the situation at home is difficult. I already have a lot on my plate and living with these girls is making my anxiety much worse.
I don't want to move out because this hostel gives me a single room, it's affordable and it's close to my university. Other hostels nearby don't offer the same.
I only have one more year left before I finish my Master's but the constant indirect remarks, judgment and their side eyes are mentally exhausting. I tend to isolate myself when I'm anxious and my anxiety has gotten worse since living here.
Has anyone dealt with people like this? How did you protect your peace without making the situation worse? I'd really appreciate any advice.
Posted Aug 13, 2026, 8:30 PM UTC · locked