Asking for some advice

So I'm 19F and I use discord primarily to keep close with friends. But recently something happened, I had been kicked from my group and now my friend who introduced me to our server isn't talking to me.

So I'll admit I have a bad habit of dominating conversations and not noticing when others wanna participate, and I can be a bit dramatic. It's likely because I have high functioning adhd and I'm a online college student so I don't talk to many people and I'm just anxious in general.

But while in the server I had complained a bit much about college, I'll admit I was ranting a bit much. But the next day I found i couldn't find our server and I couldn't even talk to my main friend who let me in on discord. But we have our contacts and I spoke over there and she said a moderator had kicked me, because I was going off a bit too much.

When I asked if I could talk to them and apologize they said they wanted to respect their privacy and said no, which i get. I said I was sorry, asking if we could still be friends, and thanked her for telling me. But if I'm being honest, if screwed me up for a long while, I still don't feel over it even a week after, mostly because I feel like I found my people with them and they just don't even say anything to me before kicking me.

And if I'm being honest, I'm not ready to lose those friends, sure I might be acting clingy or needy but after being depressed for a long while because I was too nervous to get out there, and finally reaching out to old friends. I'm just not ready, I wanna try and get back, I learned my lesson to let people talk and stuff I just don't wanna lose any friends yet.

I've spoken to family who said that some my not click with me and God may take people in or out, but I just feel I wanna fight for this group. Am I just holding on to something I should let go of or am I the unreasonable one, or what? I'm honest not over it and it still screws me up when I think of it, so I'm looking for advice?