I feel so isolated and misunderstood.

Re-upload because it got taken down:
A am a trans man and have been transitioned for a while and since I was pretty young (going on 10+ years now with 4+ years of HRT). I have lived in an incredibly small rural town my whole life. It is open minded but not understanding and definitely not diverse, almost no queer community, almost 100% white people, very wealthy. We have a pride event once a year (I started) and it’s always almost all straight allies who just really like heated rivalry. I haven’t met another trans man in over 5 years, let alone become friends with any. I tried to describe it to my girlfriend, who is cis, by telling her to imagine she is the only woman in the whole town and rarely even sees other women. Speaking of my girlfriend, I love her to death but she just really doesn’t understand. She can say some really ignorant things like “real men don’t wear binders” and when I told her how I was kinda upset a mutual friend outed me to her new boyfriend she said “it’s not a big deal”. Recently, we were having a conversation and she said that dating a trans person is hard. I asked why and she got all quiet and wanted to stop talking about it. She just said that it’s a lot to carry and something about a burden. She said that she doesn’t like when I talk about it. Now looking back on it, this isn’t new, she has said stuff like this before. Asking if I thought her dating me made her a lesbian stuff like that. I have also been wearing a trans flag bracelet I made because despite being stealth, I am still trying to come to deal with the shame I feel for being trans and doing that helps me. She said that she doesn’t understand why I wear it if I don’t want people to know in the first place. We have been together for 3 years and other than these things she is so so supportive and kind and she lives me so much and I love her so much. But I am just so hurt that even the people I thought supported me the most are being hurt by it (same with my younger sister, who has also been telling me that I’m not family for unrelated reasons). I just feel so so alone, no one understands me or what it’s like and the people who support me still are insensitive. I rarely even seen a trans person in real life and sometimes it makes think I’m the only one. When I see trans people online with big queer friend groups, I get so jealous because I just want people who understand me. I feel like I can’t even talk to my girlfriend about this because she doesn’t like when I talk about it. I feel so so alone. I feel like such an awful person for being trans because it has caused people I care about so much harm. I don’t know what to do anymore.

If you are going to reply with something transphobic, I don’t really care, I’m secure in my identity, and have been for over a decade, and nothing you can say will change that. And growing up in a rural town, trust me, I have heard it all.

Sorry if this is long and unorganized, I’m not the best writer. I just need to know that there are other people out there