Feels like someones died with the way i’ve been hurting

I was with my ex for nearly 3 years. We started off as really good friends and one day we just clicked and eventually dated. The relationship came to an end because i was being disrespectful to him which I know is my fault. I would crash out at him for small things but in some ways i was also not really satisfied with how the relationship was going. He was kind and everything you wanted a man to be but he did not have the drive and he also wouldn’t tell his parents about me (his parents are very traditional and i come from divorced parents).I would bring this up and he would always say he would but never did. Anyway the last straw was me calling him incompetent when he has told me multiple times not to speak in such ways. He ended/took a break in January and went met up in February to talk and after spending the night, he still was unsure of what he wanted. He then went to Australia for holiday and said we will catch up when he comes back. During that time, my heart along with my ego was hurt so when he came back, he wanted to make it work but I ended it. Long story short we caught up again after a month or two (he never reached out wanting to make during these months fyi) and he tells me he is moving to Australia. I was doing fine before this but when he told me this, my heart broke all over again. I asked him to get back together and i was even willing to move with him but he says he needs to do this alone and work on himself. We are meeting next week one final time as a goodbye but why does it feel like i’m going to die of heartbreak at this point?