I met this girl on Tinder and I genuinely don't understand what happened

I met this girl on Tinder. Let’s call her N. And I'd call myself A.

We got along really well. Within a week or two, we were staying up late talking, having phone calls and video calls, and everything seemed completely normal. For context, I’m 19 and she’s 21. I’m also completely inexperienced when it comes to dating, so this was basically my first time dealing with anything like this.

One night, N started giving me hints that she wanted to sext. She even said something along the lines of, “A, a little sexting won’t hurt, right?” I told her I wasn’t sure because I had never done it before.

She basically said goodbye, and I thought I had ruined her mood. So I eventually went along with it. She started making sexual comments, and I was extremely awkward because I had absolutely no idea what I was doing.

Then suddenly she became serious and said, “A, don’t ever contact me again. We’re done.”

As a professional overthinker, I completely panicked.

I spent the entire night thinking I had made her uncomfortable. I couldn’t sleep at all. The next day, I went to my friends and told them what happened. They basically told me I was overthinking it and making it into a much bigger deal than it actually was.

Meanwhile, N was completely ignoring me. I was freaking out, sending messages and voicemails because I genuinely wanted to understand what had happened.

Eventually, she replied with one word: “Performative.”

I told her it wasn't performative and that I genuinely felt bad about how I had handled the situation.

I also talked to a female friend of mine from Hyderabad about everything. She told me that N seemed like someone who constantly wanted attention and that I should probably stay away.

A few days later, N called me while I was at the gym. At that point, I had already apologized so many times that I didn't want to apologize again. I told her I'd apologized enough.

I'd also done some stupidly extra things for her because that's just how I am with people I care about. At one point, I even used Claude to make an interactive website apologizing to her and sent it to her.

When she called, she seemed confused about the whole situation but also acted like everything was completely normal. She asked me if I actually wanted to talk to her anymore.

I told her that it wasn't about whether I wanted to talk to her. It was weird for me that she was acting like nothing had happened.

She said, “Okay, bye,” and we ended the call.

Then, literally the next day, she called again, and somehow everything went back to normal.

For the next couple of weeks, we started vibing again. We were talking normally and things seemed fine.

Then, completely out of nowhere, she blocked me everywhere.

I tried contacting her on Telegram, and she blocked me there too. I have two numbers, so I eventually contacted her from my second number.

Instead of blocking me there, she started asking me for nudes.

At that point, I immediately thought it was some kind of trap because of everything that had happened before. I told my friends about it, and they told me to ask her for hers instead.

So I did.

She said she would send them and even asked whether I wanted to see them. I genuinely thought she was actually going to send something, but I eventually told her I didn't want to see them because, honestly, we weren't even that close anymore and it felt way too soon.

And once again, that whole situation just ended.

Then I went back to doing what I apparently always do: making ridiculous interactive websites for her. I made a few fun little websites using Claude, she appreciated them, and things seemed normal again.

Then she blocked me.

A couple of weeks later, she unblocked me without any explanation.

And this became a pattern.

For the past couple of months, she would block me after a week, sometimes two weeks, sometimes three weeks. Then she'd come back, we'd talk again, everything would seem normal, and eventually she'd block me again.

Yesterday, she did it again.

And honestly, I think I've finally realized that I'm done.

I've spent way too much time, attention and effort on someone who constantly disappears from my life and then comes back whenever she feels like it. I've apologized more times than I ever have to anyone, made websites for her, tried to understand her, and constantly worried about what I did wrong.

At this point, I don't think I should be giving her any more attention.

Maybe I just needed to write this out and get some outside perspective, because I genuinely don't understand what her deal was.

But I'm done chasing her.