Drinking is ruining me

I’ve been self medicating with alcohol for the last like 5 years. I’ve been diagnosed with adhd and honestly probably have a little bit of anxiety and depression as well. For me alcohol makes me focused and clear headed like I’m able to do things I know that sounds strange because it’s a depresant. I feel energized, happy and just like I can function normally but I know it’s so bad to go that rout. I’m currently taking 40 mg of vyvanse and I thought it would solve all my problems…well the vyvanse does kinda help me not have that tired feeling. I feel flat and kinda emotionless and still unmotivated. I’m wondering if anyone can relate and if they have found a good medication combo? Also I’m not trying to rely on a magic pill to completely change my life. I know I have to put in the work and ask myself why I’m drinking but I’m honestly just self medicating to feel normal. I already know my brain lacks dopamine and I’m not ashamed that I need medication. I unfortunately cannot raw dog life it’s too draining lol.