flight atempt #19

if i were to jump of of a bridge over the freeway, what do you think i would see if i dieed, because i used to be horrified of death and the fact that noone TRULY knows what happens after death. i know that killinng oneself is aa stupid idea, because your mind problaly wouldn't even get to feel itself turning off. or the moment of giving up and letting the weight of your shoulders won't happen be nothing to place those emotions, so they just disapper instantly. but im starting to think, screw the stupidity, who cares if dying and simply stop existing is a fate worse than hell itself, ive just grown to hate my life too much to care. i know no one would care, im just hoping i can find a friennd or lover here who will actually respond. wishful thinkingm, huh?