Graduated and feel hopeless

I graduated in May. Since then, I’ve done nothing. I am nothing. While I got a degree, I don’t even like what my degree is. It feels like a waste. I didn’t even realize I disliked my degree until the final semester Now I just feel like a leech to my parents. I struggled to even get through high school. I have no idea how I’ll get through 40 years of a job. I’ve been suicidal since I was 12. I have autism and major depression and anxiety. Each day just hurts. It’s not enjoyable. Honestly I feel like I’m just the type of person who isn’t compatible with modern life. I can’t keep friends. I can’t keep a job. I’m unhealthily anxious everyday. If there were a way to just disappear, I would take it in a second.