Proposition

I am a guy. A fact which, I think, will make many of you stop reading immediately, or continue reading in disgust. It might even get my post removed immediately. I understand that. But here's the context for what I want to say:

I was introduced to syntribation by a girl I dated last year in college. The lead-up to this sentence was strange, but she introduced the topic to me by saying "I'm so good at masturbation that I can do it without my hands." Which, of course, was 50/50 joke/serious. When I asked about it, she told me what she does (which, after researching, quickly revealed the name 'syntribation'). She also told me that all of her friends and basically all girls do it, too (she was hypersexual, and very open about all topics sexual, so a reveal like this wasn't particularly out of character for her, but what she revealed was pretty surprising).

I didn't believe her at first, but then she proved it to me by explicitly guiding me through watching girls to see signs of it. But the main point of this all is that I saw girls do it to get off while in the presence of a guy they like. They'd even make fun of each other doing it. One time, in the case of a very conventionally attractive guy, a group of girls was obviously nervous and giddy due to his presence. They were syntribating and talking about him (to my discomfort, because i was seated right next to them, and i am not into men), and one of them very loudly said "wait, why is [friend] moving her leg like that?" Which prompted embarrassment from her friends. Every time I was around this guy, there'd be girls doing the same, while focusing on him. Not always making fun of each other for syntribating, but definitely doing the action.

If he didn't know, I felt pretty bad for him. He was being used as a visual sex toy. If he did know, I'd feel even worse, because he can't really do anything about it.

Now, this is not to say I didn't find it arousing at first. Of course I did. I'm human (you will probably attribute this to my gender, though), and if the gender I am attracted to is doing a sexual activity right next to me, I will probably get sexually aroused. However, seeing what was happening to this guy kind of flipped the script in my brain.

At first, I wanted to advocate for policing women's sitting positions. That idea quickly fell apart once I thought about it for more than 10 seconds. It's 1. unrealistic, and 2. just morally wrong. But clearly, the mindset for using syntribation as a way of targeted self-stimulation exists. Men doing this to women is absolutely unacceptable. And I think the same mindset should apply to syntribation.

No unaware guy consents to being syntribated to. And, proven by what I saw, clearly syntribation *can* be used in that way.

So, I'd like more advocation for not doing the act in public, or around people. No rules/laws can be created, because that's oppressive towards bodily autonomy and human rights. But there's no effort at all to prevent the more inappropriate usage cases. I think more of a push for self-regulation on when/where to syntribate would go far, from a moral perspective. Maybe in the rules of this subreddit, maybe a pinned post highlighting perspectives on when/where it should be used, etc.

Thoughts?

(I know the intention that many of you have when syntribating in public has nothing to do with attraction to anyone. This post is not directed specifically towards you, but I would be lying if I wasn't referring to you, too. Due to the situation above, I have lost a lot of trust in the moral integrity of many women I meet, specifically when we're just talking or just hanging out and they start to show signs of syntribation. They may not be attracted to me, but they are definitely doing something sexual in/around my personal space, for which I never provided consent. So, please truly listen to what I am saying.)