[18F] [21M] I ghosted my boyfriend for 1.5 months because my life fell apart. Should I reach out?

I’m 18F and he’s 21M. We were friends for 4 years before we started dating, and we’ve been together for about a year.
I ghosted my boyfriend for around 1.5 months, and I honestly don’t know how to fix things.
A lot happened all at once. I failed an important test, my parents started going through a divorce, my grandfather passed away, and things got complicated when my mom found out about my boyfriend. I was dealing with so much emotionally that I wasn’t really okay, and instead of explaining what was happening, I shut everyone out — including him.
I know ghosting him wasn’t fair, and I feel really guilty about it. I miss him so much and I want to start talking to him again, but I’m scared. I don’t know if he’ll be angry, if he’ll even want to talk to me, or if I’ve already ruined things.
Recently, he’s also been sharing breakup-related stories/posts, almost like he doesn’t care anymore. But I know him, and a part of me feels like he does care and is probably hurt. I don’t know if I’m just overthinking it, though.
I really want to reach out and explain everything, but I’m terrified of how he’ll react. I don’t expect him to immediately forgive me or forget that I disappeared. I just want the chance to be honest with him and maybe make things right.
Should I message him? And if I do, what should I even say after disappearing for so long?

**TL;DR:** I ghosted my boyfriend of about a year for 1.5 months because I was dealing with my parents’ divorce, my grandfather’s death, school problems, and other family issues. I miss him and want to reach out, but I’m scared he won’t want to talk to me anymore. Should I message him and explain what happened?