Tips on where to start for a low maintenance bride who doesn't care but also does care about certain things???

TLDR: Starting to think about our wedding but don't know where to start. We are low maintenance and don't have strong preferences, but only want to commit to doing a full wedding if it's worth it for everyone and is a genuinely great trip/party.

I'm recently engaged to my partner of nearly 10 years. We are very excited to be married but clearly have never prioritized marriage or a wedding over other life things. We've spent the last 10 years building a life we love, traveling, and growing as a couple. I've never dreamed of a specific wedding, and am a relatively low maintenance person (we are a pretty down to earth, laid back, low maintenance couple). Since I'm open to so many variations of a wedding (destination, intimate, courthouse, elopement followed by party, etc.) I'm actually having a bit of a hard time knowing where to start! We just know that we have tons of family and friends we LOVE (we have very full, amazing relationships in our lives) and do love the idea of everyone coming together to party and celebrate. The togetherness is the only thing we really are prioritizing. We've also been to our fair share of weddings and know that the experience should be fun and worth it for all the guests, especially when travelling.

Does anyone have advice or guidance on where to start when we don't even really know what we want?

Some things about us:

Budget: ~$30k with some flexibility

Guests: ~100-120 invited if we were to invite everyone. We could expand that but likely won't since it already feels like a lot. We believe not everybody would come if there's travel, but who knows. People have been long awaiting our engagement! Because of our big families, limiting to immediately family only doesn't feel realistic because immediate family on both sides is already like 25 people, and there are friends of ours we are closer with than some of our family that should be there.

- We are probably not going to have a bridal/groomsmen party. We have so many wonderful friends and family that we don't want to choose or add extra responsibilities for them.

Location: TBD. This part feels hard. - We live in LA in California. Our family and friends are spread out over literally the entire country, but we are from Chicago, IL, and Cleveland, OH. We're thinking of ruling out California just because of the cost, and there have already been several family weddings out this way. We're thinking of doing a destination wedding simply because no matter we we do it, over half the people will have to travel. We're considering Mexico, Puerto Rico, or anywhere else that would be a destination people would want to vacation to. I like the idea of having a beautiful backdrop so there's less decor needed. With that said, we are completely open to the Midwest still if that's what makes sense for ease.

- I mentioned we're low maintenance. We value spending money on travel, food, and experiences, but not so much material things. For example, I don't plan on spending any more than $500 MAX on a dress just because I don't really value spending that much money for something I will wear one day. We clean up nice with what we have. I want to be comfortable, not too formal, and feel like myself.

- The things we care about most are WHO is there, speeches from certain people, good music, food, and ideally if we are going to spend money on a full blown wedding there's an opportunity to be with the people we love for several days (vs. just a single night event).

- We don't even know if we want a traditional wedding. I'm open to the possibility of gathering information and deciding it's not worth it and pivoting to do something more small and intimate, or just use the money for an extended trip somewhere.

- I very strongly feel that I do not want my wedding to become my personality. I just don't care so much about details like decor, aesthetics, cake tasting, etc. We are both busy people with full lives and careers we are committed to. Neither of us want to make our whole life for the next year about wedding planning. I would love to keep the decision making on the minimal side. As mentioned above, I like the idea of having it somewhere beautiful so the setting and people are the focus vs. decor and all the extras.

Maybe I'm being unrealistic, and I suppose I just need to start gathering info. I care so little about most things I'm finding it's almost making it harder to start. We love each other and don't feel a wedding would have so much of an impact on that, but we do love the idea of celebrating our love that we've worked hard at over the last decade.

Where do I start?! What type of wedding fits our personalities? What info should I start gathering first?!