10 years of friendship ended after a misunderstanding. I am tired and hurt.

10 years of friendship ended after a misunderstanding. I’m so hurt and tired.

I (21F) have been friends with “Kate” 21(F) for 10 years. We’ve been through so much and I now everything just feels like it’s drifting away. In January I was robbed and needed a place to stay as I didn’t feel safe in my own home anymore. Kate said I could stay with her, which I was incredibly grateful for. One night I ended up getting a call at 2am from my bf who was drunk. I was worried about him so I decided to leave to his place around this time and asked if she could open the gate for me. She just got home because she came back from the club with her mom. She opened and I thought everything was fine. The next day however I found out she her mom told my mom I was disrespectful for leaving late and told my mom personal information about my life. I realised I messed up big time. What I did was wrong but I didn’t realise it. I apologised repeatedly but Kate wasn’t having it. She sent me a long message about how her mom was uncomfortable with me staying there and that she felt disrespected by me for a while but never told me. She packed my belongings and told me she no longer felt comfortable continuing our friendship. I was completely heartbroken. It felt worse than any breakup. A few weeks later we had a conversation where she said it was a misunderstanding , her mom had been stirring things up. ( her mom is very controlling and abusive towards her) and we had a long about our friendship and we were on our way to repairing things.

But things have felt off since then. We still spoke occasionally and I invited her to my birthday. I was hesitant at first but I didn’t want to hurt her by not inviting her so I invited her anyways. She came, we went out and had a good time. She even invited me to her grandmas birthday afterward. Everything seemed okay. Fast forward to July, her birthday. I wished her happy birthday and I asked her if she wanted to hang out at my place the following weekend to celebrate. She kept saying next week but would just ghost me when the day came. I eventually stopped pushing and left it. I was in WhatsApp and I saw she posted a picture with her bf. I checked his instagram because I was curious to see if she had a birthday party. She did. I was not invited. She went to the same place I went for my birthday. I’m so so hurt right now. I’ve been to her birthday for 10 years and I wasn’t invited. She never told me but still acted all friendly with me. Everything is all just coming up now.

She was hurt by things she never told me about and expected me to fix it without ever telling me what I neeeded to fix. She would constantly invalidate my feeling when I would open up to her. She would just how I felt off and act dismissive with me. I was once venting to her crying and she was just scrolling on her phone. I feel like she was keeping a tally against me all these years and I didn’t even know. I know I can annoy or hurt people but if she didn’t tell how was supposed to fix things. She never once brought anything up until that day. I’m so hurt and I I’m grieving the loss of my best friend. These past few years it felt like we were growing apart and becoming diffrent people. I didn’t want to accept it because I still care for her and love her. I think I’m holding on to version of her that isn’t real. I just miss my best friend.