when does it end

i found out i was 4 weeks pregnant at 20 in march with a guy who i loved and he loved me but we were extremely toxic. i got an abortion because i knew if i went through with it, it would tie me to him forever and i wasent letting a child grow up with parents who weren’t for each other. it’s now august and i still think about the what ifs and it makes me so sad. i didn’t expect to miss it as much as i do. i know i made the right decision but it’s still so hard months later.