Is Dating a Numbers Game?

This is actually the second time this summer I have seen someone at Tunney’s Pasture station during peak times bluntly asking people if they are single and available to date. What really caught my attention was that after getting rejected, they would immediately move on to the next person with seemingly no shame or hesitation. It got me wondering is dating ultimately a numbers game for some people? Is the idea to simply approach as many people as possible already accepting that most will say no and hope that eventually someone says yes?

I can sort of understand the logic behind it. Rejection is inevitable when you put yourself out there and not taking every rejection personally could probably make dating a lot less intimidating. At the same time I wonder whether approaching strangers one after another like that actually creates meaningful connections or whether it risks making people feel like they are just another number in a lineup. For those who have tried a numbers game approach to dating did it actually work for you? Or... do you think quality of connection matters more than the number of people you approach?

The last time I was in the dating scene was back in the mid 2010s. I would often go to the Lookout Bar in ByWard Market during the quieter times usually weekday afternoons. I am not sure if things have changed since then but I remember there being a certain level of mutual respect that seemed to be understood between both people. If you were interested in someone you might offer to buy them a drink and even if there was not a connection, they would often reciprocate the gesture. There was not necessarily any expectation that it had to lead somewhere. Some days there simply was not anyone there who caught your interest or you were not the person someone else was looking for. And that was okay.

Looking back I think I appreciated that there was room for rejection without it having to feel like a failure. You could make an effort, accept the answer, and still have a pleasant interaction with someone. Has this kind of decency disappeared post-COVID?