Could be pregnant, don't know what to do

I've wanted to have a kid for a long time, but I was waiting obviously. I'm only 22, I've got lots of issues, and currently it'd just be plain irresponsible for me to get pregnant intentionally.

On an impulsive decision I had my very first hookup, I was feeling vaguely suicidal and just wanted to take a risk to feel alive (it was stupid, I know) and well. I wouldn't be posting this if a condom was involved.

Pretty much right after I cleaned myself up I sorta panicked and a friend brought me out to go get plan B and some pregnancy tests at 1am. I obviously took the plan B.

It's only been a few days, so clearly I can't check for anything yet. I've got 3 weeks and 4 weeks out marked on my calendar for testing, because that's at least what I could figure out might be the earliest it can be detected. I haven't had a period since I was 14 (transitioned very young) so I truly do NOT know if I was ovulating or anything. If anyone has tips on test timing and taking (other than take in morning, I know that one) please give them to me.

I'm just scared. Because if I'm pregnant, I don't know what I'll do. I'm not in the place to have a kid but at the same time I don't know if I could mentally handle having an abortion or putting them into the god forsaken adoption system. What if my psychiatric and pain meds affect them? Or my T? Because I took my last shot right before the hookup, and I don't know whether I should temporarily stop until I get take the tests or if I should say fuck it and just keep doing my shots.

I know that it'd likely be the best option to terminate if I do end up pregnant. But would I be able to handle it? I want to be a dad so badly I nearly cry just thinking about how much I want to raise a tiny little person. To see my dad be a grandpa and shower my kid in so much love. It isn't the right time but will I ever HAVE a right time? Will I end up infertile or sterile eventually due to one reason or another and look back and wish I had a baby too early before it was too late?

I'm scared and confused. I don't know what to do. I know the chance of me being pregnant is low but I'm still scared because I know I'm not going to want to let go of the baby if they happen.

I'm keeping the whole thing a secret except from 2 people I really really trust and I feel so guilty because I was so stupid. Now I might have to make decisions I don't feel ready to make.