How am I supposed to hold a engineering job

I graduated top of my class with my mechanical engineering degree. But I feel numb and have social anxiety due to not having ears and wearing hearing aids. I know no one cares but I am insecure about it since I have been young. I started a job for 4 weeks but it is not likely going to last. I might push harddddd for an MAOI if this doesn’t work. My psych wants to do ect but I want to do MAOIs first.

Also, my anhedonia improves some days which I am thankful to god for.

Like if I had a job that didn’t require me to think, then it’d be less effort.