Doubting bout my sexuality

First at all I'm 21F, i always had doubts about my sexuality when i was young (11)

here a small journey

— i always knew women is more attractive and beautiful than men !

— my mom always said bad things about girls when they had sex (like they are sluts, easy girls etc) and sex was ... mmm bad? Or even Just is for sluts and eww

— I thought it was my mom's fault and tv or internet, cuz i didnt want grow up their ego, why i going to have sex or show them my body when its important for me

— at my 11 years old i had my first crush on a girl, i remember the butterflies, lol i got into gay comunnity so i thought i was bisexual

* i used get upset when my friends (girls) talked me about their boyfriends i never got why they talk bout boys or sex i mean "i couldn't... its eww"

— at my 15 i used to start to take care myself, makeup and those stuff, i remember when my mom saw me she said "oh you look pretty, you going to get boys" and I was " I DONT CARE BOYS OPINION"

— I have dates w guys and only thing that i got is anxiety

— around my 18 and now i thought a lot of opinions why i didn't want have sex with them 'asexual' 'demisexual', 'if i got married with a man he will sleep in another room' or 'lavander marriage' bc gettin marry for take caring a man ?? and giving a kid? No thanks, being a wife for men feels as a job, even if he is amazin...

I know probably its pretty easy to know the answer... i just feel confused cuz I liked some boys in the past i never tell them that I liked them o asked phone number lol