I don't really know how to write this without sounding like I'm feeling sorry for myself, but I've been realizing how much my relationship with my parents has affected the way I see myself.

I genuinely don't think my parents like me very much. They acknowledge the good things I do sometimes, but it always feels like my struggles matter more. I graduated college a few months ago with honors and at the top of my class, but somehow that's overshadowed by everything they think I'm doing wrong.

The last few years have been really difficult for me. I've struggled with serious mental health issues and had a period where I became so unwell that I needed treatment. I eventually got much better, but my parents were frustrated that it took me so long.

Since then, I've constantly been compared to other people. I'm told I should have more friends, a boyfriend, a better job, that I should wake up earlier, do more, and have my life more together. I've been told my friends will eventually become more successful than me and leave me behind, and that nobody will want me if I don't change.

I'm working part-time while looking for full-time work. I drive myself everywhere, pay for what I can, have friends, hobbies, and a life of my own. I try really hard to be kind and respectful to my parents. I don't argue with them and usually just do what I'm asked.

But I'm still called disrespectful, ungrateful, and a moocher who they wish would move out.

When I try to defend myself, it usually makes things worse, so I've learned to just sit there and take it.

My mom recently said she thinks she needs a therapist to "deal with me." She also says that having me at home is bad for her mental health and that if things continue this way, we won't have a relationship.

The confusing part is that I barely even interact with them. I'm usually doing my own thing.

I've started wondering if maybe I really am as difficult as they make me feel.

I think that's what hurts the most. After hearing these things for so long, it's become difficult to separate who I actually am from who my parents seem to think I am.

I hear people at work talk about how excited they are to go home, and I feel sad and jealous because I don't understand that feeling.

I wish I did.

I wish home felt like somewhere I could relax and be myself instead of somewhere I constantly feel like I'm being evaluated.

I don't need my parents to think I'm perfect. I just want to feel like they actually like having me around.

And I'm really tired of feeling like I'm failing at being a person.

Very good nachos 10/10.

Feeling like I'm failing