How do I be okay with me dying in a matter of days

I really don’t like this countdown coming closer and closer, GCSE results day is on august 20th so i HAVE to get this over with before the dreaded 20th date arrives.

I would have done it anyway even if results day wasn’t on that date, but I was just hoping I could live a few days longer. I’ve never had this fear of death and never being conscious again until now, I don’t get why I got this fear all of a sudden

In my first attempt, I was not afraid of dying even in the slightest, but I feel like now because I’m in a better mental state, I’m more scared of dying.

That’s another reason why I have to get this over with quickly, the longer I wait, the more unwilling to die I become, and that really scares me

Another thing that pisses me off is that I’m aware there are no benefits to staying alive and nothing good will come out of it, but STILL Im scared of dying. I even made a very specific and detailed list of personal reasons I should end my life, to read just in case I feel like backing out on the day that I die. It currently has 243 reasons, and each reason is a paragraph long