Should I ask the guy who gave me my cuck fetish to fuck my new girlfriend after 10 years of silence?

Ten years ago I walked in on my first girlfriend getting railed by my closest friend. I froze. Instead of punching him I just stood there getting harder by the second while he kept going and looked me right in the eye. That night rewired me completely. The humiliation the arousal the way she moaned louder once she saw me watching it all clicked and my cuck fetish was born right there. We never spoke again after that. He vanished from my life and I never reached out either.

Now I have a new girlfriend who is hotter more sexual and already knows about my kink. Lately I cannot stop thinking about him. The same cock that ruined me for normal relationships being the one that stretches her out while I sit there and watch. The idea of tracking him down after a full decade of silence and asking him to come claim what is mine again has me leaking every time I jerk off.

Is this insane or does anyone else here understand the pull of bringing the original guy back into it?​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​