Is the problem me or my managers communication? I’m struggling.

I’ve been here a few months and consistently find myself in situations where I’m unprepared or making mistakes because key information isn’t explained until AFTER the fact.

Ex. 1: My manager calls and mentions me taking over a new task. She says to review the documents and “we can chat more later.” I assumed we’d discuss what ownership of the new task would look like. When we met, I realized she was expecting me to have already assembled a whole plan to discuss. I felt completely unprepared.

Ex. 2: Part of my role involves completing legal forms and submitting them for review. It’s my first time doing this here, and HOURS before a deadline, I discovered there’s a separate legal portal where I can see comments related to my forms. No one ever mentioned this portal. I thought the “review completed” emails covered everything. I could’ve seriously messed up a project if I hadn’t stumbled across it myself.

Ex. 3: She has me leading a new process/meeting but never really explained what to expect or what my role is supposed to be. So when the manager on the assignment told me to cancel the meeting because there wasn’t enough info available, I pushed back and said it would be helpful to keep it so we could get aligned. He was adamant about canceling, and since I still don’t know how much authority I have in this new process, I ultimately canceled it. She seemed disappointed that I didn’t keep the meeting, and I found out after the fact what level of ownership she actually expected me to have.

It’s killing my confidence and getting really frustrating. I know this team values self-starters but damn.

How do I tell my manager I need clearer communication around expectations without sounding incompetent? And how long would you give a new job before deciding it’s just not an environment where you can succeed?