Update 2- Final? Plus context. AIO- Fiance keeps leaving for over an hour, location turned off since July 14.

Original

https://www.reddit.com/r/AIO/s/k7U8UFrLhe

I posted a small update, but after going through his phone I found messages to meet up and score meth. It was from almost 2 weeks ago, and he claims it was the only time.

This feels like a betrayal, because he has a pending court case for possession of meth, and I have been going with him to every court date and meeting, even though I work overnight. I didn't know he was doing meth until he got arrested (and got my car impounded), but when he got out on bond, he was so sorry and wanted to get clean, or so he told me. At one point he mentioned how our relationship was better, because he felt like after it was all out of his system he was less angry than when he was using.

He doesn't understand why this feels like a betrayal, because it was "just smoking" "not like I was meeting a woman, like you thought" and its a MUCH bigger betrayal that I went through his phone.

This follows the pattern I have ignored, too long, where he does something pretty shitty, ignores my feelings, tells me its not what happened, blames me, and attacks me and my mental health. But it is the final straw.

I took the car key, he has a court date in October where he can either take a plea for 3-6 months in rehab, or try trial and face 2-10 years in state. I am not going to bother with trying to kick him out (unless he acts like too much of an ass) before then, but I am planning to move while he is gone.

I WFH, so I can go almost anywhere in the US, but if I move, it has to be at least 1 year. So I am going to​ ask my ex-but not divorced yet- husband to move back in to the house for a year. My youngest is in HS, but the other 2 are adults. Maybe it makes me selfish, but I feel like I need to be somewhere where he can't contact me, so I don't get sucked back in, and my ex being here means he won't have an option to live here. I just feel like I need to reset and find myself again.

Open to suggestions on where I should move has to be US, some states are excluded from my WFH options, including NY and CA.

Oh, and it was my fault he used. We were fighting, because he made a comment that he used to have his family to watch his back, but since he moved in with me, he doesn't have *anyone* watching his back with all the legal stuff. (They hate me, and cut him off when he moved in, but also refuse to let him stay with any of them)

And I feel like I should specify- I do not do drugs, I own my own home, I have a good job, kids who are doing very well, I built myself up from the trailer park I grew up in, I have traveled extensively. He was unemployed, and living with an abusive ex, I wanted to make his life better, but he tore me down and made me someone I don't recognize, along the way.