I feel like im drowning.

SD (11) does not accept me. We’ve always had a rocky relationship… one day we are having an amazing day ill take her for boba tea and we’ll play board games or watch a movie… and then the next she wont even acknowledge me. I could say hi to her and she’ll straight up Ignore me and just go to her dad. BM is not in the picture so husband expects me to step up and try to win her over… meaning he wants me to go up to her and hug her even if she doesn’t reciprocate just like a bio parent would do to their kid… the thing is, I’m not a kid person like that even though I have a kid myself, I can’t do that with other people’s kids…
SD has caused so many issues between husband and i, some small, some not so small. She can be very manipulative to get her way, and husband just doesn’t see it that way he just chalks it all down to “she’s just a kid” and I’m being too harsh on her so I must have something against her.

The truth is, at this point the feeling is mutual. I’ve done everything to try and win her over and I’m tired of feeling rejected most of the time… but then I can’t go nacho because she doesn’t have her mom and I have my husband on my other side, giving me shit for not trying hard enough.. everyone around us sees how manipulative and bratty she can be even his mom and sister have told me she has so much of her bio Mom’s traits in that sense. The only person who doesn’t see it is husband. He is completely blinded and will do anything for her as long as she cues the water works. She will do things like plan a sleepover at her cousin’s house and then change her mind at 1 AM and call her dad to go pick her up all the way across town..( & yes shes safe, its just her female cousin and her mom at that house). It’s more of a power trip. She knows she can do it so she does. She does the same thing with his food and he’ll give it to her and she won’t even eat it.

His excuse for all of this is that he “doesn’t want to break her heart” 🙄

The last time we fought because of her, he told me he wasn’t sure how he felt about me anymore, and I’ve been on edge ever since because I am not working since I have a baby with special needs who requires most of my attention at the moment. I have no money, no friends, and i just feel so alone and defeated. The thought of her coming home makes stomach turn.

Has anyone dealt with something like this or have been through a divorce / breakup because of something similar? Please tell me it gets better…