I (19F) finally confronted my 4-year hot-and-cold "talking stage" (21M) after catching him in hypocrisy, and now he's dead silent.
From Grade 9 through my first year of university, I was trapped in an exhausting cycle with an older guy. He would reappear in my life, promise he’d changed, act like he wanted to be close, get validation or physical attention from me, and then ghost me for months. Right after ghosting me, he’d turn around and pursue girls who didn't fit his stated "type" at all—girls he literally said he’d never marry or take seriously. It completely ruined my self-worth for years, making me feel like I was the problem. Now that we're at the same university, I see him almost every single day on campus, and the unresolved tension has been driving me crazy.
Recently, I decided to blow off steam and confront him anonymously using a fake number. On text, he started sending me long paragraphs saying, "Whoever this is, I know you're amazing, I'm sorry for hurting you, just tell me who you are." So, I finally called him and revealed who I was. On the call, I laid out four whole years of receipts—calling out his pattern, his fake maturity, and naming specific girls he hit up behind my back. He was completely speechless. Before he could give me any rushed, empty excuses, I hung up on him.
I followed up with one final text making it clear that I see right through his avoidance tactics. Since then? Nothing. He hasn't called, texted, or tried to apologize. I’m sitting here wondering if he even cares at all or if this entire four-year dynamic meant absolutely zero to him.
Posted Aug 14, 2026, 12:41 AM UTC