Wanting to commit suicide to get bf attention

Years ago I was told I have BPD but I changed providers and it because unspecified personality disorder. He didn't think I have BPD but I agree with my previous psychiatrist because I literally relate so much. I'm going through a very bad breakup and I'm DEPRESSED. He was a really bad bf. He apologized today and at first I was receptive but now I told him he's like all the rest of the guys who hurt me. Tbh in my opinion he is but I knew it would hurt him to hear it

To top it off, I have rapid cycling bipolar disorder with mixed episodes and psychosis...severe bipolar and multiple personalities disorder. I don't want to due but the pain is like a mountain I can't even begin to climb. Please help me. And yes I will call 988.