Any of you ever had a platonic crush on someone before?

I don’t know if that would be the way to describe the situation I’m in right now but yeah. It’s a confusing feeling because it’s not one that comes up often, or really at all, but that’s maybe the most accurate way I can put it.

Jfc I am not gay (lmao, actually I’ve been questioning for a minute now if I might be on the ace spectrum but that’s a different story,) and whatever feelings I do feel for him are not at all romantic or sexual, but they are, at least to me, very ambiguous. I’m not too sure how to explain them and on top of that he’s not someone I see or speak to often so it’s something that’s very much easy to confuse I think.

On the couple of occasions we have interacted though (when volunteering, for context, since these are the only times I’ve seen him,) it has always been pleasant. He seems like someone who is generally a bit reserved, but he has a very friendly demeanor to him and is possibly neurodivergent like myself, though I don’t want to make any assumptions because I could be wrong about that. Regardless, the first time we did talk though, it was much less a feeling of butterflies and more so a feeling of familiarity in our brief conversations, like I could fully let my guard down in a way. I didn’t see him for months afterwards, but he still crossed my mind every now and then.

Recently though I did see him again and it was the first time in a while that I can think of where I was genuinely really happy to see someone, like I was a child again and meeting up with a best friend I hadn’t seen in a few days. I felt a subtle but sudden urge to hug him, though I didn’t do so. Unfortunately he didn’t remember me very well (understandable,) but it was still a good day nonetheless and we talked for a bit after our responsibilities were over with. It was the same thing, even despite our interaction not being very long, it felt comforting even to just be around him.

Again it’s not something that I really know how to explain well. Talking about my feelings in general is something that’s never come easily to me, especially since it’s always been difficult to make sense of them and I am sure that there are other unrelated reasons as to why I feel a sense of kinship with him to a degree that I very rarely do with others, even those I consider my friends. But do let me know if this is something you’ve experienced yourself before.

I doubt I’ll see him again anytime soon and I am aware that whatever feelings these actually are are surface level at best since I know close to nothing about him, but, God willing, maybe someday we could be good friends🙏