I don't want to be old

I don't want to be old, I don't want the problems that comes with old age. I don't want to struggle while scraping by on social security. I don't want my mobility to decrease. I don't want health problems that I'll have to deal with by myself. I don't want the loneliness and sadness and isolation. I'd rather die at 40 than live until 80 and be stuck in some nursing home. I'm an agnostic so I'd like to believe that if I die whatever God exists would be kind to me and take mercy on my soul. Sometimes I catch myself being excited for death and I know that's not good but I can't help it. I like to think that when I die my soul will be sent to a different world that isn't like ours, one where goodness wins in the end and evil is suffocated quickly. I hate that in our current world all of the evil and crazy folk have the power. I want to go to a place where the majority of people are kind and genuine and where people truly care for one another.