Wow

Her phone note :

“I am sad and depressed because I cannot parent my third child like my first. I want to treat every one of my babies like my first. But I know that’s not a feasible possibility. I am sad I stopped breastfeeding. I feel not as connected with Cal now. I think I sort of I resent my other children because they prevent me from treating Cal like my first baby. And I know that’s not fair to them. I know that. I was feeling so depressed last evening when Cora and Dawson came home from school.

I know it runs off on them so we had a pretty rough evening. I want to feel love and connection with all my kids. I’m also probably having a bit of an internal conflict because my whole life I’ve wanted to have a lot of kids. I still don’t want Cal to be our last, but I have a lot of figuring out to do before I have another. I’m on the fence about starting a new medication for anxiety/depression. I just want to feel happy. I want to be able to relax and take care of my kids.

And when they go to bed at night, I want to deeply relax and hang out with Pat and then fall into a deep sleep for 8 hours, get up and pour hard into myself for an hour and a half. Cal was so very planned and desired. I want to be able to give him all the love he deserves.”

Soooooo she only likes the baby stage and now resents her other two kids cause they grew up and she can’t have her alone time with the baby and her own alone time ! Wants to have another baby why? Cause she loves the baby stage . Like welcome to three kids Lindsay .. seems very selfish to me.