F19 – I let my roommate’s boyfriend finish inside me while she was in the next room

I’ve been living with my roommate Maya for about 8 months now. We’re both 19, college, shared apartment. Her boyfriend Jake is over a lot. He’s 21, quiet, kinda hot in that tall awkward way.

One night last month Maya had an early shift and crashed hard around 10. Jake was still up watching something on the couch. I came out in just an oversized t-shirt to get water. We started talking, nothing big. Then he made a joke about how the walls are thin and how he can sometimes hear me… you know. I got red but laughed it off.

Somehow we ended up closer. He put his hand on my thigh under the blanket and I didn’t stop him. Next thing his fingers were inside me while Maya was literally snoring twenty feet away. I was so wet it was embarrassing. He pulled me onto his lap and I sank down on him. No condom. I knew I shouldn’t but the risk of her waking up made everything sharper.

I rode him slow at first, biting my lip so hard it almost bled, then faster when I realized she wasn’t moving. He came inside me with this quiet grunt, holding my hips down. I stayed on him for a minute after, feeling it leak out, then cleaned up as quiet as I could and went back to my room.

Maya never found out. Jake acts normal around her now, but the next time he was over and she was in the shower he just looked at me and I already knew. We’ve done it two more times since. I still feel guilty every time… and still do it.