**Alright y’all. Take a seat. It’s fucking story time.** 

So my partner and I have been together for about 9 years now.   
We met in one state, dated for about a month, moved in together and have been by each other’s side for nearly every day since (I think maybe 50 days apart for trips or vacation)

I’m 30M. She’s 33F. I think I’m going to leave her. Don’t DV me, I need actual female opinions, please. Dude advice is fucking dumb. 

When we met we were focused on one thing. Grinding to get out of the life’s we were given, towards the lives we want. And that is what we did.   
I kept getting promoted, we kept moving to better states and better conditions and all the while we stayed true to a few things.   
Athletics.  
Saving.   
Adventure.   
But everything changed..when the fire nation attacked.. wait wrong story.   
Everything started slowly changing after about 3 years.   
She would make dumb financial decisions (not like drugs but like clothes and food).   
Then not be able to help with rent. Then missing car payments.   
Then getting to the point we are at now.   
And she was always offering to pay me back but the amount just kept growing.   
So then I’m saving up a little money to marry her and she would get her car impounded and I’d spend all my money to get it out and get her straight.   
I thought “shit happens”… once, twice, three times.   
Then we moved. Now CO. I kept doing my thing, running, training, adventuring, cycling and I slowly noticed that she wouldn’t have any care or drive to do the same. That’s how we used to spend all of our time.. now she was just going to the gym. Sure fine, I can make it work.   
Then she just completely stops helping with rent. Sure it’s all on me now, I get it. I’m the guy, why not. The point was to split so I could use my saved half on our stock/crypto investments, so we could build for the future. A house that could be home. That’s fine, there’s always more time right?   
Covid hit.   
We moved back to our home state to be with family.   
I gave up my dream job I worked towards for 5 years.   
We planned, okay 6 months back home where we can focus on “our” discipline. Thats like 70% of the reason for the move.   
I moved us into my childhood home, rent was $500 bucks. Did I still get my half? Nope. But rent was down from $1700 to $500 so fuck it. We ball.   
Then I notice that she stopped doing anything.   
No gym. No training. No discipline.   
We talk about it. About how I just want my best friend back. How we don’t do anything other than video games and drink/smoke together, how it was affecting our life and relationship.   
We shook hands agreed things will improve if we work at this together. 

So off we go again. To the mountains. 

I get a job as a sales associate and work my way back up to management in 6months. She gets a job babysitting. 

A few month go by and the same shit starts again. Missing rent. Not training. 

Now I don’t want to my rude about my lady but at this point it’s noticeable. She’s put on weight. I am absolutely not physically attracted to her anymore. Haven’t been for about 5 years. I love HER but don’t really care about intimacy, she doesn’t get me going.  
Not to sound like a fucking Chad but I work in the outdoor industry. I’m very fit. I run marathons, mtn races, 50+ mile bike rides. I would run and bike to work through snowstorms so she had a car to use. I’d spend my off days in the mountains but always alone. At this point she couldn’t do any of the same stuff I was. Even if I offered simple trails there was always some bs injury or reason why she couldn’t go or the worst.. “omg yes, I’m so excited.” Just to wake up at 5 am to be told “no I just can’t”.   
Now I know how she feels about my co workers and lifestyle. I work with training and outdoors so naturally everyone is fit and healthy and attractive. So out of respect I have avoided all community events for 8 years to make sure she didn’t feel uncomfortable or threatened.   
That means I’m fucking alone. For everything. And get home and feel alone there too.   
Oh boy but we can play a few rounds of Fortnite before bed. That’s it. That and dinner and the occasional fuck is all we really do together.   
Now fast forward to the last 2 years.   
We needed more money so I took a job I really really really didn’t want (it’s out of my usual outdoors field) and it was in the same state but a city I had no care to live in.   
So we move. And she took 6 months to get a job..paying $15 an hour for 20 hours a week.   
Still no help with rent ($2,000) and no help with the car. OH SHIT. The car. Yeah so she blew up her car.   
And mine blew a head gasket and it was the middle of a crazy winter.   
We were both having to walk to work in feet of snow.   
I don’t mind, conditions will never be perfect, so I just execute.   
Hour run to work. Hour run home in freezing conditions.   
But I didn’t want her doing that so I offered to put fixing my car (my dream car I’ve had for yeaaaarssss) on hold and getting us a newer car that has 4wheel/awd. She swore up and down (again) that she would be helping with all of it. This was when she was still making about 35-40 k a year.   
So I took the $5k I had saved up (to purchase my other dream car) \*my broken one is paid off\*   
To get us into a Jeep that was safe for her and the babies that she was babysitting at the time.   
Anyway. As you have guessed she stopped helping with that payment too. Great.   
I also didn’t have enough money to support everything alone and paying for my car to get fixed right away so while putting that off it gets fucking stolen. Gone. Never seen again. I’m a car guy so that’s literally the worst thing that could happen.   
Now at this point I absolutely had to leave my job, I just couldn’t work for the dumb company and could feel myself wasting my life there everyday. Along with everything else going on my headspace got reallll dark again. So to protect myself I quit.   
I began interviews and found a new job in a much much better part of town.   
So now these last 6 months. I have the highest paying job I’ve ever had and she wait for it. Doesn’t work. She has been “trying” to get a job for six months.   
What does she do all day? Living in a beautiful mountain town? Her literally dream town? And Dog? And Car?   
She does fucking nothing. Reads smut. And sleeps. 

We don’t even play video games together anymore. 

She has literally no money. No car. No job. No goals. No drive. 

I have told her 3 times in the last year, very clearly.   
That this all has to change or I can’t do it anymore.   
I will leave.   
And even (and I’m not proud of it) I hate you. I don’t want this anymore. 

But nothing. Has. Changed. 

Her family lives 1,000+ miles away. She has no one else here to take care of her. How can I end this without making her life even worse?

Do I just stay? I feel like I have wasted a decade of my life. I love her, she has some great qualities. She’s not a cheating whore which is a huge plus in my book. 

Please provide some insight. I’m desperate enough to be here. 

Should I stay or should I go now??