debt, betrayal, anxiety spirals, and unemployment

i recently woke up to the fact that my father has effectively landed me 10k in credit card debt by bread-crumbing hypothetical financial support. i lost my job in march under frustrating circumstances and at the time i was one paycheck away from being debt-free.

i ended up having to move out of state around that same period of time due to a family member i'm no contact with stalking and harassing me on and off at my job and outside of my home. my father assured me not to worry about the moving costs and that he'd cover everything, cut to the day of the move and he's unreachable during the exact time window that i needed to pay the movers. i had informed him in advance, sent him the estimate, and noted what i could afford to contribute as well as what i was asking for him to cover. he agreed, but still has not followed up.

this repeats two more times until i finally realized that he's not going to help, and i shouldn't have trusted him blindly. i realize the blame is entirely on me for not making sure he was accountable in the first place and taking on the debt, and that's my mistake.

but it still sucks. i'm in an agonizing holding pattern of three weeks before i'm employed again. thankfully i'm able to rely on another family member financially (who has been informed of the situation with myself and my father) who has gifted me the funds necessary to survive for now.

i have a plan, a budget, and spreadsheets ready for when i have income again and can begin tackling the debt. i'm more concerned that i let this happen in the first place, and frustrated that i was so gullible. it shouldn't have taken until 10k for me to realize that he wasn't helping.

i'm don't know who to really be mad at, but i'm mad. i just feel gross inside.