I need help

Hey !!
I need a little advice on something that I can’t stop thinking about, basically my ex's grandparents were HEAVILY into spirituality (they literally tried to exorcise him when he was little) and I have the feeling that they have something to do with my situation.

Things were going really badly between my ex and me because we constantly argued, he became violent, cheated on me, and watched porn behind my back, yet I couldn't leave because something literally held me back.

Being diagnosed with borderline personality disorder around age 17 and in therapy ever since, it is usually very easy for me to hate someone and completely disappear at the speed of light if I feel hurt (I’ve cut my dad out of my life for a long time) but with my ex it was impossible even when I could only see hate in his eyes it was impossible for me to leave.

Now that I came back to my parents house I still constantly think about him without it being romantic and it feels like I'm still trapped in that apartment with him. So what do you guys think and what would you advise?

(Idk if it’s important but they tried to meet me but my ex didn’t want because he finds them “weird”)