How Do I Not Feel Like Allah has Left Me?

These last 2/3 years have been hard, but these last 2 months have been either harder. Every single day there’s at least one more slap in the face.

I have a recurring UTI for 2 years, my leg muscles are tightening again, I lost my only job offer in June, I’ve gotten nothing but rejections from everyone else ever since, yesterday was my first interview since and he cut me off half way and told me I don’t have enough experience and won’t be a good fit, I’m returning to my old job and they won’t even give me what I used to make, I don’t feel religious, the guy I wanted to marry has been distant and is not supporting me, my friends and family don’t reach out for my cries for help or some kind of support that isn’t just “keep applying” or “you just have to keep trying until you get it.”

No one’s hearing how bad I’m doing mentally. How lost I feel from Allah’s path. Every prayer I do no longer feels genuine. I’m praying just to pray. I’m not there. I haven’t felt religious in months. I feel abandoned. I feel lost. I feel pathetic. I genuinely don’t know what to do.

Ive started therapy, but in the end, therapy is not going to get me out of anything. How many more times can I pray tahajjud or isthikhara before I give up? I’m so so sick and tired of this pattern. I make dua and I cry and I cry and I cry. With hardship comes ease and yet there is no ease or mercy in sight for me. I wish for death and even that does not come my way. I don’t know what I ever did to deserve this. How do I ever come back from this.