Still dreaming about him

Someone help me understand am I in love with him just thinking about him or I need to contact him. I do miss him we’ve known each other for years would see each other everyday, until I removed myself. Now it’s like every so often we talk here and there. We catch up. We talk about what could have been us. How much we still would like to make it work even though we were never really nothing. But our bond is something that doesn’t let us move on. We talk like we never left each other’s lives we give advice to each other. Even though our lives are different now. We still talk but these dreams of him popping up here and there before when we didn’t talk for a few months it was like almost everyday for a whole month of him being in my dreams and it would give me such a worry of if he was okay and I felt so guilty as soon as he had told me he was not okay and in a mental institution. Now it’s like when I dream of him I worry and want to call and message him but he acts like such a tuff guy that seems like he don’t care but when it’s just us it’s different but he does answer my calls no matter who he’s around his guys or his mom. Recently been dreaming and it gives me peace dreaming of him but the realization of him not being here is what disappointed me and hurts.