How to get a jodoh?

I am a 24 year old bloke who just finished his internship for bachelors and now working as a project engineer at an automation and telemetry company. Pretty much my job will involve a lot of site visits and all that stuff. Here's the thing, I'm short, just 164cm, and I'm fat, 100kg. I've seen people shorter or fatter than me marrying earlier than I do. My friend is marrying in a year or two from now and I'll be his best man. I'm not mad at him. In fact I'm proud and happy for him. It's just that, I think, perhaps, maybe I should deserve a chance as well. I've had many failed, unrequited loves since secondary school till uni. I don't know if I'll end up like my parents or not, but still, I just want a chance. I have very few friends left. My relations with my family is minimal. I was, and perhaps still is, certain that I'll die alone, bitterly if there's no miracle for me. Even when I wasn't fat (before covid), there was no luck. I feel ashamed of my own existence. I'm pretty sure that my ancestors would be ashamed of me as well if they're still alive. I want tranquility, and a partner to live with, but I don't know why, why I can't get it. Sometimes while sleeping, I would dream of already having a gf, or already becoming a husband and owning a house. It's always when I realise that it is all a dream that I wake up. Sometimes, I cry when I wake up. And the nights aren't that good as well because I'll wonder about the reason for my very own existence. I don't know if I am redeemable. I don't know if I'll ever be happy. Is there really hope for me? I just want a girl I can express my feelings to without being judged, and that I can cherish and would guard with my life. I don't mind dying for those I care about. It's not that we live forever anyways.