Hold me accountable - I backed out of a trip

I’m living in a new city and don’t know many people here. I met Emma at a board game night a month ago. We had a lot of fun and then cue me falling into total enmeshment within three weeks. This is a pattern I have, and I’d like to work on having healthier, more independent friendships. She also has adhd for context. We’re both single women in our 30s living alone. As I do, I committed to a camping trip with her at the start of our friendship.

We were texting daily - when I wouldn’t text, I’d have to explain I wasn’t feeling well or if I showed her a picture of me doing something else without her, I needed to basically explain why I didn’t invite her. I recognized that I was falling into codependency quickly, and so I tried to set boundaries even in our text conversations, saying let’s talk tomorrow and she’d still continue texting me about logistics and her life etc (she stays up until 4/5am usually and sleeps during the day).

Well the trip is only a week away. She had had a package sent to my house under a third persons name and then it needed a signature and I go in to the office so then she had to stay at my place while I was at work and then somehow she still missed the package and it was returned to sender and I am getting a play by play of every part of this saga. On the third failed day, I was exhausted after our weekly board game night, said I could hang but then she wanted to talk logistics and I said not tonight. But she kept pushing and that’s when I felt that this was not a dynamic I wanted to be trapped with in the woods. So I told her I didn’t want to go anymore. She took it well! But I realize how messy all of this is/was and I just feel bad.

I’m going to a cabin with other girls from our board game night next weekend and she knows it. I wouldn’t blame her if she feels offended.