I want friends with my same interests so badughh💔💔

I genuinely can't make ANY friends, and if I do somehow manage to make a friend online I get ghosted because I'm really socially awkward, have social anxiety and I can't talk to save my life.

Like its actually crazy at how bad I am at talking, I'm NOT exaggerating, I sound extremely dry and always have no idea what to say or respond with.

I wish I had a friend who likes the same fandom, ships, and fanfic tastes as me and is just as freaky, it would be so cool to have such a friend and be able to talk about anything with them, and even better if they are a fanfic writer or an artist, then we could make fanarts togheter or I could make fanarts for her fics, or I could give her some ideas for fics and we could just talk about anything.

I'm so jealous of anyone with such friends, like HOW, istg I'm such a chopped loser, fantasizing about having friends😭😭💔💔