I feel stupid for feeling Jealous over how less masking autistic individuals are accommodated

Whenever I encounter a less masking autistic individual or an individual who is nonverbal I really relate to them deeply and want to be friends. As a child my best friend was very nonverbal and we got along perfectly well playing bionicles and I never understood why he was considered different because I related to him strongly, but my parents always insisted I did not have autism because I was "not like that" and I could speak "clearly".

But the things I was always punished for by coworkers, bosses, teachers, family etc were also for autistic behaviors.

I feel selfish for this jealousy, which is never directed at other autistic individuals but moreso where society assumes that someone can handle blunt/rude/aggressive behavior. I think one silly example I have was when I went to Disneyland for the first time to see a character I always liked. I saw videos of how this character is super sweet and kind to individuals with autism and felt it would be exciting to meet them, so I did, and I feel like they kind of glowered at me/treated me as strange for my excitement and It made me feel guilty for bothering them.

I know people cannot tell that I have autism, but it hurts that patient/kind behavior is reserved for those who they deem "need it". 😓 I feel like even though they do not know I have autism, they do not tend to like me or they find me offputting because of my autistic traits. People tend to tolerate me better when I clarify I have autism, and sometimes I feel the need to say It so I can protect myself from their anger that feels like the default.