Maybe aro/cupio?

I just feel a little lost right now. All of my “crushes” were aesthetic driven and fleeting. When I’ve had “crushes” I just wanted to near them in the way a friend was. I was okay being a friend or maybe something else. I’ve looked into alterous attraction and it may have been that. I’m not sure. It’s just that I’ve never felt moved enough by “romantic attraction” to pursue a relationship and I’m wondering if I experience it at all. There’s some forever feeling or in love feeling that’s going over my head a bit.