What is wrong with me?

I’m at 35 year old women with two children. My son (7) has autism, level 3. My daughter (3) is going through a dragon/unicorn/ mermaid phase. I’m so grateful they choose me to their mother! I’ve been blessed by their love every single day and is rich because of them.

Why can’t I find happiness with someone else? I obviously tried two times and clearly it didn’t work. My bills are paid, my car is working and is a beast, my children have a warm home with food. On my personal free time, I listen to tavern music and do my nails. I’m not sorry that my children come first, and I’m not sorry about talking back when I know it’s getting toxic. Of course I have guilt, of course I don’t have a lot of money. Never married, nor proposed to is starting to get to me.. i don’t know anymore.. I’m just being a little bitch and I don’t have a platform where I can vent too..