r/marriageadvice•2 mo. ago

How should I approach marriage counseling?

My wife told me she had a client who asked her to go to his house while nobody is there. She told me she didn't go and I believe in her.

Later on, I found a message between them where my wife initiate a meet up with this guy while I was hospitalized.

I confronted her and she say that was the meetup where he ask her to go to his house and that was the last meetup where both of them are alone.

I didn't buy her story and told her I wanted a divorce. In addition I said some awful stuff like she's a prostitute and if our 3 kids are mine.

A few days later, I calmed and decided to believe in her story, however the damage was done, she is hurted by my remarks. And on her end she also asked for a divorce.

I managed to convince her to go for marriage counseling but I really don't know how to approach it. TBH, I remember clearly she told me about this guy asking her to go his house before I was hospitalized. And even if what she said is true, I am still pissed at her for dating a guy while I was in hospital.

She claim that they only talked about work but I read her text and there was nothing mentioned about work to be discussed during the date. And she did not even inform her boss that she is meeting him. The thing is, on the day they met, she actually met another customer in afternoon and that afternoon customer she had mentioned it to me and her boss. Which makes me feel like she is trying to hide the fact that she met him secretly.

I really don't what to say or do during the counseling. TBH, I gave her a lot of freedom, she will disappear and cannot be contacted between 7 to 9 and I always trusted her. Now thinking back, she could have met other guys as well...

Can anyone advise what to say during the counseling? Anyone from experience?

Addon

So far she has not apologize for the meetup. It makes me feel that she thinks she has not done anything wrong which just pissed me further.